CANING
Within the context of BDSM, caning is a fetish used in Impact Play that involves the Dominant spanking, hitting, or tapping a submissive’s body parts. Caning is usually used for discipline purposes but can also be done as a warm-up to more intense impact play using other implements.
CFNM
Acronym for “Clothed Female Naked (or Nude) Male,” which is a sexual fetish wherein the female is clothed but the male is not, which can play into a power dynamic in which the clothed person is Dominant, and the naked person is submissive.
CHASTITY
Not having sex with people, which may also extend to masturbation. In the kink world, some people who are into BDSM may wear, or have their submissive partner wear, Chastity devices on their genitals, like cock cages or chastity belts, to prohibit them from masturbating or having sex. This deprivation can be arousing for both the wearer and the Dominant, who bears the key and plays up the power dynamic in a BDSM scenario.
CLOSED DOOR / CLOSED SWINGING
Within the context of Swinging or Open relationships, “closed” often refers to open Couples who feel comfortable engaging in separate sexual activities in different rooms or locations from their primary partners
CLOSET SWINGER
Person hiding the fact that they are a Swinger. This can be the case for people who are high-profile or whose professional reputation, culture, religion, or social group do not permit them to be open about their lifestyle.
CMNF
Acronym for “Clothed Male Naked (or Nude) Female,” which is a sexual fetish wherein the male is clothed but the female is not, which can play into a power dynamic in which the clothed person is Dominant, and the naked person is submissive. See also “CFNM”
COCK CAGE
Usually used in kink on a submissive with a penis, a Cock Cage is a chastity device that restricts the ability for the penis to be stimulated, such as preventing it from getting a full erection. Often, a cock cage is used at the behest of a Dominant who is employing this chastity device to control, humiliate, deprive, and dominate their submissive. Cock cages can usually only be opened by the person who put it on, usually with a special key held by the Dominant.
COCK RING
A sex toy in an O shape or ring shape designed to wrap around the base of a person’s penis and/or balls, which is used to increase and/or concentrate blood flow during self-stimulation and sex, potentially leading to longer-lasting erections. Some cock rings may also feature a shape that simultaneously stimulates the perineum and/or the anus for added pleasure. Some cock rings also have an attachment, for instance, “rabbit ears” designed to provide extra stimulation to their partner’s clitoris during sex. Vibrating cock rings and remote-controlled cock rings can be helpful tools for couples to increase intimacy in their sex lives.
Cock rings must be put on while the wearer’s penis is not erect.
COCK WORSHIP
When a person spends a lot of time and attention stimulating someone’s penis or dildo to give them pleasure and show devotion. This often involves oral sex and/or manual stimulation, and may be included as part of BDSM play by the submissive on their Dominant.
COLLAR
Within the BDSM community, a submissive may wear a collar or necklace around their neck to signify that they are “owned” by, dedicated to, or under the control of a Dominant. In BDSM, collaring a submissive can be very ceremonial and significant.
COMPERSION
Within Open relationships, especially Polyamory, compersion is the opposite of jealousy and refers to a person’s emotional satisfaction of knowing and / or seeing the joy that their partner experiences with other people romantically, platonically, and / or sexually. Compersion is not necessary for open relationships to work. A person might experience feelings of compersion for their partner in some scenarios and with some partners, but may experience jealousy at other times.
CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT
a.k.a. Ravagement Fantasy, is a type of Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) BDSM scene involving roleplaying as a person who is consensually “forced” into sex by an aggressor or a group of aggressors. Importantly, having a Ravagement Fantasy does NOT mean that the person actually wants to be raped in real life. What is enticing to a person about a CNC / ravagement fantasy is the ability to control the scene and consent to each element of the scene.
CONSENSUAL NON-MONOGAMY / CNM
Relationships and / or intimacy with more than one partner. Consensual or Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) means that all the partners involved are aware that their relationships are not exclusive and that there are other partners involved. Includes Polyamory and Swingers. This is not the same as Cheating, in which one partner is not aware of their partner’s activities.
COUGAR
A colloquial term used for an older woman who typically enjoys “prowling” for younger play partners (who are still of legal age and thus can Consent to the relationship)
