S&M
Stands for Sadism and Masochism.
SADISM / SADIST
Sadism is a term derived from the Marquis de Sade. To be a “sadist” or “sadistic” is to get sexual pleasure from inflicting physical and / or psychological pain on another person (usually the submissive or bottom). Typically, the Dominant / Master / Top is the person consensually inflicting pain upon the submissive / slave / bottom.
SAFE SEX
Refers to the practice of mindful, protected sex, often using barriers (e.g., condoms, latex gloves, etc.), with the goal of minimizing as many risks as possible in preventing STIs, STDs, and pregnancy.
SAFE WORD
A specific word agreed upon in BDSM settings that indicates that the person wants to end the scene immediately.
SAINT ANDREW’S CROSS
a.k.a., BDSM cross, bondage cross, crux decussata, saltire, X-cross, X-frame, this piece of restraint equipment is common in BDSM dungeons and used to bind a submissive’s / bottom’s wrists and ankles to it in an X position.
SAPIOSEXUAL
When a person experiences an erotic attraction to someone with whom they share an intellectual chemistry; sexual arousal experienced during intellectually stimulating conversation with another person.
SENSATION PLAY
A type of BDSM play where the intent is to explore and push a person’s sensory limits. For instance, blindfolding someone and tickling their body with a feather; by depriving them of their sense of sight, their other senses become heightened.
SEX CLUB
A club or establishment whose primary purpose is to provide play areas for others to engage in consensual sexual play. These clubs may also include bars and/or dance areas, in addition to separate rooms and/or an open play area. Swingers clubs are often sex clubs, and these terms are often used synonymously within the swinger lifestyle.
SHIBARI
a.k.a., Kinbaku; a form of Japanese rope bondage using intricate methods of tying ropes that are aesthetically pleasing and also erotically arousing.
SLAVE
A term used within the BDSM community to describe a submissive person. However, because of the negative connotations that relate to the concept of slavery (which has negative implications with racist overtones), the term “slave” is less commonly used and is being replaced by terms such as submissive and/or bottom. Slave also may be used as a term that describes a specific type of “extreme” / severe dynamic between a submissive person and their Dominant (Master / slave relationship).
SNOWBALLING
Group sexual practice / Fluid Play where semen is passed on from mouth to mouth.
SOFT LIMIT
A sexual boundary for an act that someone is hesitant to do or try, as opposed to a Hard Limit, which is when someone is absolutely adamant about not doing something sexual.
SOFT SWAP
A Swinger term for when a couple performs non-penetrative sexual activity with each others’ partners, i.e., kissing, oral, sensual massage, etc.
SOFT SWINGERS
Swingers who choose to have intercourse exclusively with their own primary partner. These swingers may still attend events within the swinger lifestyle as Voyeurs and will play with their partner in front of others as Exhibitionists, without involving others in their sexual play.
SPANKING
The BDSM practice of using one’s hand(s) for spanking someone for sexual arousal or gratification; a form of Impact Play made for erotic pleasure.
SPITROASTING
A threesome or group sex experience wherein one person is the center of sexual attention while two other people penetrate them at the same time in different and typically opposite-end orifices, such as one person in their mouth and the other person in their vagina or anus.
SQUIRTING
Refers to female ejaculation, or when someone with a vagina “squirts” or ejaculates as a result of sexual stimulation that may or may not be penetrative in nature.
STAG
Within the context of Hotwifing, a Stag is usually referred to as a man who encourages his female partner, known as a Vixen, to have sex with other men. The Stag may or may not engage in Group Sex with his Vixen and her partner.
STEALTHING
The deceptive act of removing a condom during or right before sexual intercourse without the receiver’s Consent.
SUBMISSIVE
Within the context of BDSM, a submissive (a.k.a., submissive / slave / bottom) is an individual who Consensually gives another person (alternatively referred to as Dominant / Master / Mistress / Top) the power to dominate them sexually.
SWAFFLE / SWAFFLING
The intentional slapping of the penis against something or someone for sexual arousal and / or gratification.
SWAPPING
Within the realm of Open relationships and swinging, swapping can refer to when couples exchange their partners with another couple for sexual play.
SWINGERS CLUB
A club / establishment whose primary purpose is to provide play areas for Swingers and open-minded individuals and couples to engage in Consensual sexual play. Swingers clubs may also include bars and / or dance areas, in addition to separate rooms and / or an open play area. Swingers Clubs and Sex Clubs are terms often used synonymously within the Swinger Lifestyle.
SWINGING
The ethically non-monogamous, Consensual pursuit of sexual partnerships with other individuals and couples. While the swinging label usually refers to those who are ethically non-monogamous, mostly for the purposes of sexual play, it also denotes the lack of desire for an emotional attachment with other swinging playmates, which is in contrast with other Open / consensually non-monogamous practices such as Polyamory.
